A Letter to My 13-year Old Self

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Dear Athira,

You know that world out there? It is NOT as good as you think it is. You know I’m not one to beat around the bush, so I’m just going to get straight to the point.
Everything you assume about yourself currently is going to change drastically. Even your conviction that you’re going to go to Coimbatore and learn Bachelor of Computer Application… yes, that’s right. It’s not worth wasting time thinking about and I’d rather you knew it sooner than later.

People are going to hurt you, honey. People whom you don’t expect to and how much ever you try to change things between you and them, they are not going to change for you. You can try, you should try. I know that you will. I know that because I know you better than anybody else. I know how you pretend to be strong and rude when even a chide from your Dad or a careless remark from a friend can reduce you to tears. You know how you worry about the school assignments and get hyper right before the exams? That is not going to change. Your habit of shutting yourself up when you’re angry is not going to change. You’re still going to write poems when you’re sad and you’re still going to be crazy about MS Dhoni. Probably for the rest of your life.

Love truly, always. No matter how many times people hurt you, learn to let it go. You need to manage your anger, girl. Because getting angry at people is not going to change them, it’s only going to hurt you. I know you think getting angry is cool. That it’s a part of you and that it will never go away. But trust me it will. You’re going to be much more mature when you know anger is not a worthy emotion.Then comes hurt. It’s what follows after anger and it’s what I’m struggling with probably even now. You might not know what this means yet, but if you ever come to a situation where you feel like tearing at your hair and screaming at people to shut up, do it.Because there’s no use bottling up your emotions. Let the hurt out, cry like a baby. Cry on the bathroom floor, hug your Mom and go to sleep. That’s all you can do. I know you don’t have a lot of dreams for yourself. You’re not like other girls who dream about getting married or becoming a famous pop star. You don’t dream of getting into a beauty pageant or going into space. In fact I know how little dreams you have right now. But that’s going to change soon enough. In a few years you will have so many options. You will thank heavens that you did not choose to focus on one particular dream. You’ll grow fonder of those dreams and eventually, you’ll wonder how you managed to never have any at all when you were young.

Don’t be too hard on people whom you don’t understand. There’s no use judging when you’ve not walked in their shoes is there? Don’t assume things and never take anything at face-value.

I so wish I could tell you what surprises you have in your future life but that would take the fun out of it all wouldn’t it? Would you even believe if I told you any details? You wouldn’t, because that’s how bizarre the change is going to be.
But don’t be afraid. Whatever, you do be brave.

Remember the Autograph Mom wrote for you? I know you consider it silly that you got your first ever autograph from your Mom but trust me, if you follow the things in those three or four sentences, you’re set for life.
Remember- Love all; trust a few.
Love,
Me

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